Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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