I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
