So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
