Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
