it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
