just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
