yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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