i don't plan on having that self control this summer
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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