The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i permit you to call me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
