you guys were way drunker than both of me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
