I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
