If i come over, it means nothing
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
