Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So drunk its hurt
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
