She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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