bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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