she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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