i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
