TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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