he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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