You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
