I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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