I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
