I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
