drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
