I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize