ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
