your room smells of hookers.
And success
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
