Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
