I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Shitshow foam night was such a success
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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