420 ftw
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think your dad took our porno
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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