Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just had sex bonerless
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
