Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
