He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize