3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
