I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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