i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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