this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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