I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
