Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
