i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
