the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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