five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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