She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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