he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
