How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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