wat bout pragnant strippers??
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
