u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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