the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
