can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
