I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
