all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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