can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
