The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
