Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
