wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Will exercising make me less horny?
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