are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
