My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We need to rekindle our bromance
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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