omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
