I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
