What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Holy sore nipples Batman
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
