and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize