I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
