Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
