i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
