somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
