Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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