My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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